Baby Seals

	So a baby seal walks into a club. Bada ching! That good old baby seal zinger is easily one of my 
favorite jokes of all time. What makes that single line so hysterically hilarious is its simplicity, cruelty, 
and maturity.
	Long jokes are too drawn out, exciting the listener into a frenzy, waiting for a great conclusion. 
Unfortunately, when the punchline does come it is all to often a huge letdown. After that comes the 
inevitable realization of the amount of time wasted listening to such an unimpressive joke.  When the 
entire gag is compressed into a sliver of attention without compromising entertainment possibility, a 
killer joke is born. It is because of this that the baby seal joke is so great – its simple to remember and 
even easier to spew during short moments of opportunity, maximizing the effectiveness of the 
punchline.
	Crude jokes, no matter how ostracized they may be, are also extremely hilarious. Sometimes, 
touching upon an inappropriate topic can greatly improve the shock factor of the punchline – a huge 
variable in the experiment of comedy. In the case of the baby seal joke, it is the startling position of 
supporting the brutal slaughter of defenseless animals as opposed to a Bono-like stance with PETA 
backing. The absurdity of the joke itself helps to gain laughter, much like another favorite of mine: 
“Whats red, black, and white all over and gets stuck in a revolving door? A nun with a spear through 
her head.” Unexpected cruelty plays a huge part in the perfect punchline.
	However, what makes the baby seal joke so hilarious for me is the allusion within it. I've told 
the joke countless times and have therefore encountered a fair amount of people that just don't get it. 
Prompting further explanation is a huge no-no in comedy, but with the baby seal joke the toughness of 
understanding the punchline creates a limited-members club of those that know modern history and 
international affairs. I must admit that I have even used it as a personality test – those that don't laugh 
find themselves a little lower in my book. 
	And yet there's more! The baby seal joke is also a clear allusion to cookie-cutter bar jokes that 
are all based upon some minor variation of the same beginning. I find myself a strong opponent to 
conformity and therefore take a great thrill in the sticking-to-the-man tone of the joke. After all, 
nothings more humiliating than mockery done perfectly.
	For a long time now I've had a top ten list of my favorite jokes. This list is far from concrete – 
I've added new ones I've heard or outgrown an older gag, but the fact that I have a place in my head 
from which I can always take out a smile, chuckle, or full blown knee-slapper is a great comfort to me. 
I'm sure that when I'm lying on my deathbed, I'll be smiling away at the ceiling above me. My family, 
whispering useless assurances into my ear, will simply be a nuisance, for all I will hear is, “So a baby 
seal walked into a club...”

(Ian Gibson)